SAYING GOODBYE IS A DAUNTING TASK.

I remember the day my grandfather was buried, me and my grandmother stood by the door and wept in each other’s arms. We cried till we couldn’t cry anymore, because this Goodbye was our final goodbye, there were no see-you again later’s, or call me when you reach. This was just Goodbye, where one person decided to sleep and the rest of us watched, but some goodbye’s aren’t drastic as the one mentioned above, some just happen, they could because of broken friendships, broken hearts, broken trust but again isn’t anything that is broken always a goodbye?

The truth is saying Goodbye is a complicated affair, saying goodbye means, though you bid farewell to the person, you are carrying a chest full of memories about the moments you spend with them  and those memories stay with you for a lifetime but the most puzzling goodbye is the goodbye you never said, the goodbye your mind never acknowledged but yet it happened, the ones where one day while walking down the street you see a face, once so familiar, but now so different and distant, that you look down into your phone and walk away without the slightest pretext of ever seeing them.

The older I get, I realize the more Goodbye’s I have to say, every goodbye is different in nature, some are the necessary evil, while others bring a lot of pain, but every goodbye is a lesson, a lesson that you have yourself at all times, even when you are alone and want a hug, your mind can still find the strength to get you an ice cream instead. 

As I stand at the threshold of adulthood, I know the many faces I now know, will maybe one day just become just a distant memory, I know that the ‘me’ writing this piece will change too. I have long ago said goodbye to the wide eyed teenager who came to college with big, bright principles, now I am just a regular girl with big dreams, but I don’t want her to say goodbye to her dreams, I don’t want her to say goodbye at all, I don’t want anyone to say goodbye unless they really want to. I see that door far across the distance, the door that will separate me from a few others and I also realize that some of them are way closer to the door than to me, I only wish for them to turn once, not go in at all and never say goodbye. If only, goodbye’s meant ‘We will see each other in a minute’.